Small Tribute To My MomMom

From left: Aunt Tina, Aunt Rose, and my MomMom, circa 1973

November 18, 2004

There are some points in my life when I can't believe what a wonderful family I am blessed with. But then I can believe it. We are the way we are because of MomMom and PopPop. They have passed on their family values to their children, and their children are passing them on to us, the grandchildren. One day we will pass them on to our own children. Their legacies will live on in stories, photos, movies, mannerisms, resemblances, dishes of lasagna, the smell of a cigar or a whiff of White Musk perfume.

I spent a good part of my childhood with MomMom and PopPop. Every time Mom was in the hospital, they would snatch me up and take me down to PotNets. Mom would have to fight MomMom to get me back, even if school was starting the next day.

I always dreaded having to help MomMom clean every weekend, wondering why I had to drag around a vaccum cleaner that was almost the size of me. But my own mother taught me to take pride in a clean house (or a clean room, haha!). MomMom would always have the polka station or Dean Martin playing on the stereo as we did housework. She brought me everywhere with her and PopPop, and I think to myself now, "How many other kids got to spend that much time with their grandparents? How many were that lucky?"



MomMom Rita was the one of the most beautiful women I ever knew. And it was what was on the inside that made the outside even more radiant. We have nothing but wonderful memories of her, and funny ones too.

When my family and Tina's family went to Disney World a couple of years ago, I sat next to MomMom on Splash Mountain and I never had laughed so hard in my life. She would squeal "Eeee! Eeee!" every time we went down a hill and I don't know if it was from the thrill of the ride or the thought of getting her hair wet!

She always had a crazy sense of humor. If it was smacking me for burping outloud, which she would do up until the day she died if I let one slip anywhere near her, giggling at the word "fart," which we would say over and over just to make her laugh, or offering to help my boyfriend put on his bathing suit to go to the beach, she didn't have a hard time making us laugh.

We shared alot of milestones with MomMom; she was usually the first person we called, like the time I learned how to dive into the pool without holding my nose. She was involved in her grandchildrens' lives like that; every little thing that was important to us was important to her. Every time Lauren, Hamilton, and I had a prom, homecoming, or cotillion, she was there for pictures and to see us off. If we had a school concert, she was there to see us perform. She got to see the three of us get our diplomas, and when Lauren and I received our college degrees, she was there to share in the celebration. When I had a barbeque after my first year of college I had MomMom come to the house, not so she could meet all of my friends, but so all of my friends could meet HER. While Lauren and I were in college, occasionally we would find little surprises in our piles of mail. They always came from MomMom and they were always pairs of underwear in every size, shape, and color! I got red for Christmas and a note reminding me that Santa was watching, hearts for Valentine's Day (and we're talking thongs here!), and one time a pair with frogs on them that she said she hoped wouldn't bite!I remember when I was in the emergency room after my car accident, she had Aunt Pat and Uncle Mike drive her to the hospital to see me. I was as happy to see her as I had been to see my mother. The relief I felt when I saw her peek her head around the curtain was so strong that I can still feel it to this day. Her sister, my Aunt Rose, and Uncle Lou even came to the hospital, and people probably thought we were having a party because we are NOT the quietest family. (Henced being dubbed "The Loud Family" by outsiders.)

When you have a MomMom like ours, everything from little events like losing your first tooth, which I did at her house, to major ones like graduating college were made that much more special because MomMom was there to share it with. She had a special bond with each of us. One that none of us will ever forget.

Side note: I read this at the reception that followed MomMom's funeral, because I felt it appropriate that everyone knew how special she was to us grandchildren. I stood on a chair in the middle of the restaurant, giggling and fighting my way through tears as I read my own little eulogy.
Next month it will be five years since my grandmother passed away from pancreatic cancer. She held it together all the way up until her final hour, which was spent with her family by her side, holding her hands as she made her way to the other side to reunite with my grandfather.
I have seven first cousins on my mother's side. I am the 2nd oldest of nine grandchildren, and all of us had the chance to have MomMom in our lives. My brother, my older cousin and I were even more lucky to spend 20+ years with her. There is a seven year gap between my brother and the next grandchild, but that made no difference to MomMom, or PopPop, who passed away from lukemia when I was 13.

When she died, it was as if our world had ended. Never did we think she wouldn't be around to see any of us get married, never did we think she would never get the chance to hold our babies. But all we can do, as part of the legacy she left behind, is pass on what she taught us, and keep her alive in our hearts.