The Horrors of Mid Morning Rush Hour

My job entails me being on the road a lot, sometimes for the majority of my day.  Last week I put over 500 miles on my car.  I have to drive as far north as Albany, NY and as far south as Virginia at any given time.  The other day I was in Annapolis, MD, the day after that I was in Perth Amboy, NJ.  It gets annoying sometimes, waking up at ridiculous hours just to get in the car and drive.
What pisses me off is how people act on the road.  More and more it seems no one knows how to drive their fucking cars.  I'm not the best driver in the world but damn, at least I know basic highway etiquette.  And how to operate a motor vehicle.
I'd have to say my favorite thing is when I'm stuck in a flow of traffic and the driver in the car at the very front of the line is one of those people who have fallen into the habit of accelerating and decelerating.  It's the speed up - speed down game.  You know what I'm talking about.  It drives me fucking nuts.  I'm sorry, but if you want to waste your own gas I won't stop you.  Just don't cause me to waste mine.  Keep the needle of your speedometer at the speed limit or close to it and no one gets hurt.
I also think people who unnecessarily tap their brakes should be subjected to corporal punishment.  Again, I really can't afford to waste the gas in my tank when I'm paying almost $4 a gallon and filling up about 3 times a week.
We all know the left lane is for passing.  We're taught it driver's ed.  And once we hit that point in time where driver's ed was so long ago that we don't remember...anything...there are signs posted everywhere.  But when I am cruising at 83 miles an hour, in an attempt to pass a slower vehicle, please do not scream up to me and try to wedge your car into my trunk.  There's not enough room in it for you.  I'm going 83-fucking-miles an hour, have some Goddamn patience.  If you want to get pulled over by a Trooper on I-95, that's fine, but I really don't want to.  Give me less than a minute so I can signal and move back over into the right lane and resume a more comfortable 75 mph.  Thanks.  Again, every time my RPM needle is above 2, I can hear my car guzzling gas.
I try not to tailgate, but it's hard to resist when someone is cruising along in the passing lane doing the speed limit, sometimes even below it.  Get the fuck out of the passing lane if you're not using it to pass.  Dipshit.  Yes, I know I just contradicted myself, because I hate when people tailgate me.  Only when I'm driving like a bat out of hell already, doing 20 miles over the speed limit.  If you're doing 50 in a 65, then please have some courtesy and move over into the right lane.  Maybe put your flashers on.
Another thing I don't understand is the fact that traffic volume causes major backups.  The other day I was sitting on I-95 next to the Philadelphia Sports Complex because people were doing the brake-tapping routine and no one knows how to behave when there's road construction.  It happened again at the 95/476 split.  And again on 141 North.  There's a shit ton of construction going on people, get used to it.  I'm sure you make your commute every fucking day.  Learn the new traffic patterns, accept them, and move on.  We all know by now that the lanes on the Broad Street bridge split, as do the ones on 141.  If you don't need to exit, plan on moving into one of the left two lanes.  Preferably before the last minute.
Don't even get me started on motorist behavior when inclement weather is added to the mixing bowl of douchbaggery on the roads.  My  most recent experience with slick roads and drizzling rain caused me to be an hour late to work, therefore screwing my entire day.  One accident on 476 North had 95 backed up.  Making the not-so-smart decision to bypass 476 resulted in me crawling along 76 West for a half an hour.  Isn't there any other way to get to the Northeast Extension other than the Blue Route and/or cutting through Philadelphia?  I was ready to set my GPS on fire and watch it burn.  Believe me, I came up with about three different ideas for revamping the entire infrastructure of Philadelphia while sitting behind a Ford Explorer with  a sticker depicting Calvin peeing on the Eagles, Redskins and Cowboys on its back windshield.  They were a NY fan.  From Jersey.  And another sticker for some bait and tackle shop that said "Size Matters."  If you have to announce that, then you've probably got a small one.
I know it could be worse.  I heard LA is the number one town for traffic congestion and that commuters spend an average of 56 hours a year in their car.  I'd have to say New York is number two.  Then comes my area - I'm surrounded by Philly, New Jersey, Baltimore and Washington DC.  But I deal with it.  Typically I'm on the roads early enough to avoid all the traffic, but some days...I just want to scream.