What is the center of my being?
What does every aspect of my life gravitate towards?
Sometimes I feel like you put in my hand a loaded gun
and then told me not to fire it.
Life would be easier if I tried not to focus on the "why."
I want to bend and break and bare it all.
I want to find my King and then break him
So that I know he is mine.
But I want a love that is unbreakable.
To rise above my imperfections is to abandon
My visions of perfection, not to block them out
Or put on a front that leads everyone to believe
That I am okay.
I am loud I am rowdy I am restless
I am always waiting for something bigger to come along
And blow me away rather than being the captivator myself.
I have fears and paranoia that drive me crazy.
I fear that I will never find my King
Because my heart has already been mutilated
And every man I have ever loved has left me.
I feel like damaged goods.
"These and other lucky witnesses..."
DRIVE FASTER...
At the same time I feel invincible, empowered and cocky.
I AM A WOMAN and I am UNBREAKABLE but what happens
When I fall?
It's been fuck and run since I was 17
So whens it ever going to change?
I've had my grip on so many things but I always manage
To lose it because even I fail to see what's good
Or what benefits me.
I AM NOT READY TO LOVE.
So why do I feel empty?
I walk tall and proud but I'm on my knees when no one's around.
This is all part of me -
The ever-changing hair, twice pierced belly button
and light brown eyes...
Every part of me is what it is
For a reason and sometimes there just isn't one.
Me and my alcoholic father...
Musicians, fights and family...
"Send the pain below..."
I hook up then get up and go
"It's much like suffocating..."
"I'm a lady, down on love..."
Please overlook my hurt,
I'm tired of it always being about ME.
"It's much like suffocating."
Words, Pain, Sex, Love, Smoke, Haze, Dream.
I have to stop before I burn OUT.
Soliloquy From Macbeth
"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace
From day to day
To the last syllable
Of recorded time and all our
Yesterdays
Have lighted fools the way
To dusty death
Out! Out brief candle
Life is but a walking shadow
A poor player that struts and frets
His hour
Upon the stage
And is heard no more
It is a tale told by an idiot
Full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing"
Creeps in this petty pace
From day to day
To the last syllable
Of recorded time and all our
Yesterdays
Have lighted fools the way
To dusty death
Out! Out brief candle
Life is but a walking shadow
A poor player that struts and frets
His hour
Upon the stage
And is heard no more
It is a tale told by an idiot
Full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing"
Mindfuck Suicide
Depression is a funny thing. It's extremely hard to cope with. Mine comes with ups and downs, usually in successive fashion. Today for instance, my mind was stuck in overdrive. Wanting things it could not have. Wishing it could change things it has no control over. A mind hopped up on caffeine and nicotine. I cleaned out my armour, throwing away broken, cheap, and tarnished jewelry, and setting aside pieces worth getting fixed. Like both watches and two bracelets the Ex gave to me, a bracelet from his brother, and the anklet my father gave to me. I hate that I get so bent out of shape over the absence of a male presence in my life. It should not have as firm a grasp as it does on me. Of course it is the reason I let myself be used and abused and disrespected over and over again. That I can at least change. But I'm very melancholy right now. Sitting in my room, smoking and listening to music that just provokes the sadness and feelings of desolation. And since misery loves company, I of course wish I was lying next to someone, so that we could wallow in our sorrow together, chain-smoking as the music plays on, with no need for any words to be spoken because the air would be thick enough with gloom and cigarette smoke. Just laying side by side, nothing but our arms making any kind of physical contact with each other, staring at the ceiling. A sort of temporary mindfuck suicide, if such a thing exists.
Sometimes I get down on myself when I think about how I can no longer give any kind of innocence to anyone. It's not really a feeling of regret...it's hard to explain. It's having been burned beyond recognition, desensitized, jaded by things mistaken for love. Having my boundaries crossed one too many times by someone, maybe even more than one, who was undeserving of that privilege. Or was he? I never really can tell sometimes. But the bottom line is that the walls are going up. Brick by brick I am building a fortress around myself, and it's not because of the actions of others towards me. It's because I let those outside forces penetrate me, and I can no longer let anyone in, for my own safety and for theirs. I've become the typical angel with a broken halo, another statistic, just another body taking up space in the crowd. And I wonder why I just want to pick up and take off for the West Coast, leaving everything behind me...
Sometimes I get down on myself when I think about how I can no longer give any kind of innocence to anyone. It's not really a feeling of regret...it's hard to explain. It's having been burned beyond recognition, desensitized, jaded by things mistaken for love. Having my boundaries crossed one too many times by someone, maybe even more than one, who was undeserving of that privilege. Or was he? I never really can tell sometimes. But the bottom line is that the walls are going up. Brick by brick I am building a fortress around myself, and it's not because of the actions of others towards me. It's because I let those outside forces penetrate me, and I can no longer let anyone in, for my own safety and for theirs. I've become the typical angel with a broken halo, another statistic, just another body taking up space in the crowd. And I wonder why I just want to pick up and take off for the West Coast, leaving everything behind me...
Welcome To This Groove
I can't get enough of 311. Their entire catalog is on my iPod, and I love shuffling through strictly 311 tunes. I could be in the shittiest mood, but if I put some 311 on, it improves immensely. Especially their new album, Uplifter. As corny as it sounds, that's exactly what it does - it's a damn uplifting album.
311's music invokes summertime memories of laying on the beach with my toes in the sand, nights spent with my dearest friends getting trashed or staying sober, the sun on my back and the smell of earth on my skin.
Their music plays throughout the soundtrack of my life. The night in Chula Vista with Jenny, watching them play in an amphitheatre set in the hills of southern California. Sweating through the entire Sprite Summer Music Festival in Virgina with Tara just to see 311 headline, on the hottest day of the year. Countless nights crammed into the Electric Factory with tons of other crazy 311 fans. And of course the nights under the stars at the Festival Pier on the Delaware River, dancing in the midst of people who feel the same way I do about 311's music.
It's a completely different love affair for me. This band doesn't fit into my dirty rock & roll category. Yes, Nick Hexum has a smile that can melt me from a million miles away, but for me, it's strictly about the music.
"Groove as your soul sings...spinning all around as we dust a melody...groove as your soul sings..."
311's music invokes summertime memories of laying on the beach with my toes in the sand, nights spent with my dearest friends getting trashed or staying sober, the sun on my back and the smell of earth on my skin.
Their music plays throughout the soundtrack of my life. The night in Chula Vista with Jenny, watching them play in an amphitheatre set in the hills of southern California. Sweating through the entire Sprite Summer Music Festival in Virgina with Tara just to see 311 headline, on the hottest day of the year. Countless nights crammed into the Electric Factory with tons of other crazy 311 fans. And of course the nights under the stars at the Festival Pier on the Delaware River, dancing in the midst of people who feel the same way I do about 311's music.
It's a completely different love affair for me. This band doesn't fit into my dirty rock & roll category. Yes, Nick Hexum has a smile that can melt me from a million miles away, but for me, it's strictly about the music.
"Groove as your soul sings...spinning all around as we dust a melody...groove as your soul sings..."
311: What It Means To Me
I have a very hard time putting into words what the band 311 is to me. I've been a dedicated follower for about 12 years. I've seen them in concert 14 times in the past 9 years, and as long as they tour, I will keep on going to their shows. Whenever I bring up this band, people either love them or hate them. There doesn't seem to be much of the in-between. I remember when I bought their first album, Music, down in Ocean City, New Jersey, when I was 16 or so. My life was changed from that minute on.
My favorite song of all time: Do You Right, off of Music
My first 311 show was in Holmdel, NJ at the PNC Bank Arts Center with Incubus. It was Father's Day 2000. Me, my brother, and two friends of our's drove up to central NJ in a guy's 1969 Firebird. Our seats were third row, stage left. And it was just amazing. The energy flowing through the crowd was electric.
It doesn't matter how many 311 shows I go to, I still get the same feeling in my belly when the lights go down and the band's intro starts up, and I can see Nick's, SA's, P-Nut's, Tim's and Chad's silhouettes moving into position on the stage. It's devastatingly uncontrollable excitement. Depending on the tour, the time of year, and which album has just been released, my brother and I usually can pinpoint which song they open with. This is a group of five guys from Omaha, Nebraska, who share some of the tightest musicianship I have ever seen. They feed off of each other's energy and inject it directly into their performances. Sometimes I just stop dancing in my spot just to stare in awe and take the whole experience in. It's better than any high I've ever had.
I've seen the band live in Southern California, Virginia, Washington, DC, New Jersey, and Philadelphia. I remember when tickets cost about 20 bucks and they were still playing at the Electric Factory in Philly.
One of the beautiful things about 311 fans is that we all know why we are there. We all know about the affinity we share for the music being played onstage. I can turn around in the crowd at any given moment and seeing hundreds of people all singing along to the same song. When the infamous drum solo begins during Applied Science, everyone goes still, and all eyes are focused on the stage. I don't care what anyone says, Chad Sexton is one of the best dummers of all time.
And if you don't know about the team-effort drum solo, then look it up on YouTube. It is show-stopping.
"My yin hates my yang but what the hell ya gonna do? It's a rocky-ass path but that's how I like it, Life's a bowl of punch, go ahead and spike it"
My favorite song of all time: Do You Right, off of Music
My first 311 show was in Holmdel, NJ at the PNC Bank Arts Center with Incubus. It was Father's Day 2000. Me, my brother, and two friends of our's drove up to central NJ in a guy's 1969 Firebird. Our seats were third row, stage left. And it was just amazing. The energy flowing through the crowd was electric.
It doesn't matter how many 311 shows I go to, I still get the same feeling in my belly when the lights go down and the band's intro starts up, and I can see Nick's, SA's, P-Nut's, Tim's and Chad's silhouettes moving into position on the stage. It's devastatingly uncontrollable excitement. Depending on the tour, the time of year, and which album has just been released, my brother and I usually can pinpoint which song they open with. This is a group of five guys from Omaha, Nebraska, who share some of the tightest musicianship I have ever seen. They feed off of each other's energy and inject it directly into their performances. Sometimes I just stop dancing in my spot just to stare in awe and take the whole experience in. It's better than any high I've ever had.
I've seen the band live in Southern California, Virginia, Washington, DC, New Jersey, and Philadelphia. I remember when tickets cost about 20 bucks and they were still playing at the Electric Factory in Philly.
One of the beautiful things about 311 fans is that we all know why we are there. We all know about the affinity we share for the music being played onstage. I can turn around in the crowd at any given moment and seeing hundreds of people all singing along to the same song. When the infamous drum solo begins during Applied Science, everyone goes still, and all eyes are focused on the stage. I don't care what anyone says, Chad Sexton is one of the best dummers of all time.
And if you don't know about the team-effort drum solo, then look it up on YouTube. It is show-stopping.
"My yin hates my yang but what the hell ya gonna do? It's a rocky-ass path but that's how I like it, Life's a bowl of punch, go ahead and spike it"
The Concert Timeline
My very first concert was at the Spectrum in 1997. Lauren's dad took her, Andrea and I to see Bush and Veruca Salt. We were thirteen.
When I was 14, my dad took my brother and I to the now non-existent Stone Balloon to see Reel Big Fish. They were one of my favorite bands, and still remain in the top twenty. They played at the Stone Balloon again the following year and I went with Samantha to see them.
At the end of my freshman year of high school, my friend Samantha had an extra ticket to the Y100 Feztival, so we got to leave school early and go to the E-Center in Camden to see Everclear and Green Day.
When I was 15, Samantha, Lisa and I went to see SILVERCHAIR and Lit at the Trocodero in Philly. We were so excited we couldn't help but act like retards. Samantha's mom dropped us off in Chinatown and we waited in line freezing our asses off for what felt like an eternity, smoking bootlegged cigarettes thinking it would help keep us warm. (See what I mean about retarded?) I remember having to pee so bad that Sam and I ran across the street to a Chinese restaurant to see if we could use their bathroom and when the hostess refused Sam started crying and she let us in. I'll elaborate more on Silverchair in another post.
My first 311 show was right after my junior year. One of the best.
That same summer I went to Warped Tour 2000 that was held in the parking lot of the E-Center in Camden, NJ with Bridget and her two younger brothers. It poured down rain as we were waiting in line to get in, and then didn't rain for the rest of the day. There were so many bands on the bill that I can't remember everyone that played. I do remember getting to see The Long Beach Dub Allstars, which I was ecstatic about because I never got to see Sublime live. Green Day was one of the headliners as well.
Oh so many concerts...I'm having a hard time remember them all. Taproot, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Incubus, Dave Matthews Band, Trey Anastasio, Liz Phair, tons of music festivals, tons of 311, Motley Crue, Buckcherry, and not to mention all the local rock bands that I go out to see every chance I get.
Stay tuned for posts about each of my concert experiences...
When I was 14, my dad took my brother and I to the now non-existent Stone Balloon to see Reel Big Fish. They were one of my favorite bands, and still remain in the top twenty. They played at the Stone Balloon again the following year and I went with Samantha to see them.
At the end of my freshman year of high school, my friend Samantha had an extra ticket to the Y100 Feztival, so we got to leave school early and go to the E-Center in Camden to see Everclear and Green Day.
When I was 15, Samantha, Lisa and I went to see SILVERCHAIR and Lit at the Trocodero in Philly. We were so excited we couldn't help but act like retards. Samantha's mom dropped us off in Chinatown and we waited in line freezing our asses off for what felt like an eternity, smoking bootlegged cigarettes thinking it would help keep us warm. (See what I mean about retarded?) I remember having to pee so bad that Sam and I ran across the street to a Chinese restaurant to see if we could use their bathroom and when the hostess refused Sam started crying and she let us in. I'll elaborate more on Silverchair in another post.
My first 311 show was right after my junior year. One of the best.
That same summer I went to Warped Tour 2000 that was held in the parking lot of the E-Center in Camden, NJ with Bridget and her two younger brothers. It poured down rain as we were waiting in line to get in, and then didn't rain for the rest of the day. There were so many bands on the bill that I can't remember everyone that played. I do remember getting to see The Long Beach Dub Allstars, which I was ecstatic about because I never got to see Sublime live. Green Day was one of the headliners as well.
Oh so many concerts...I'm having a hard time remember them all. Taproot, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Incubus, Dave Matthews Band, Trey Anastasio, Liz Phair, tons of music festivals, tons of 311, Motley Crue, Buckcherry, and not to mention all the local rock bands that I go out to see every chance I get.
Stay tuned for posts about each of my concert experiences...
Buckcherry
I first discovered Buckcherry about ten years ago in the now-extinct Rainbow Records. I was browsing for CDs, not looking for anything in particular when I noticed the album art on their first self-titled disc.
I thought it was so cool that I picked the CD up, read the song list on the back and bought it, having never heard of these guys before. As soon as I put it on at home I was hooked. No-frills cock rock. LOVED IT. And that was the beginning of my obsession with this particular band. Especially Joshua Todd. Yeah, yeah, it's all the about the music. And believe me, it is. But I'm a horny groupie too so I can't help it! Josh Todd is MY King DirtyBoy Rockstar. I don't care what anyone says. It's in his look, his stage presence, that distintive voice of his. And two words: "The Cut."
Through the years Buckcherry has remained one of my Top Five favorite bands. I had thought they fell off the grid for a while after Time Bomb was released, but then my brother, of all people, played Crazy Bitch for me before it hit the radio stations. I of course ran out to pick up the new album, 15, as soon as I could.
As well as a tank top with "Crazy Bitch" scrawled across the chest. I got my aunt one for her birthday too, because that's how we roll. That summer we wore those tops everywhere in Dewey Beach; she became known as "CB-1" and I was "CB-2."
It wasn't until the WMMR-B-Q in May 2007 that I finally got the chance to see them live. The 'R-B-Q is an all day musicfest put on by the local rock station I listen to. I was sitting at the kitchen table having my coffee when I heard that Buckcherry was on the bill, as well as Evanesence, Chevelle, and Velvet Revolver, so I quickly rounded up the troops for a day of tailgating and Rock & Roll. That day will have to be another post in itself. It was a fucking BLAST.
Three years later I finally got the chance to see Buckcherry headlining a tour at the House of Blues, and to meet the band. TO MEET THE FUCKING BAND. I went broke scoring VIP tickets and booking a room at the Showboat in Atlantic City for myself and two of my best girls and it was worth it. All I could think of was how bad I wanted to tell these guys the impact they had on my love for rock, that began over ten years ago. And make Josh Todd aware of the fact that I've been fantasizing about him since I was fifteen years old.
Being the diva that I am, I made sure I was going be responsible for a few jaws hitting the floor when I walked into the room where the band was. Actually the entire casino for that matter. A red satin corset trimmed in black lace, a black pleated skirt and knock-em-out-drag-em-down stilettos. Trust me, in the right outfit, you can do anything.
So we wandered around the casino until it was time for the Meet & Greet and I did my best to ignore the stares from creepy old guys. We were stoked up enough for the show that it didn't really matter. I was in groupie-mode and thank God I had my girls to keep me cool. I really didn't want to act a fool when it came time for me to be face to face with five guys that have rocked my world for so long. Especially Mr. Joshua Todd who has unknowingly participated in some of the filthiest scenarios my Dirty Mind (that's a song reference too!) has come up with. 
The PR guy handed out a 10x10 promo shot for the Black Butterfly album to all of us, and I had brought along a photo I've had of Josh Todd for years, when the only tattoo visible was CHAOS across his abs. This was back when Calvin Klein was running his "Dirty Jeans" ads. It hangs on my wall directly across from my bed to this day, but now it's adorned with his autograph.
Once we took our place in line, the next half hour or so was a blur. As soon as we we entered the same room where Stevie, Jimmy, Keith, Josh, and Xavier were sitting, I went weak in the knees. "Don't act a fool Don't act a fool" I kept saying over and over in my head. Then before I knew it I was standing face to face with the band I've been obsessed with for years. And I told them that. I handed the Calvin Klein ad to Josh for him to sign, and asked if he remembered it. Then I lifted up my skirt to give them an eyeful of the tattoo on my right thigh. I of course had to ask the guys to sign my tits as well, what groupie would forget to do that? They were happy to do so of course, and Josh even reached in to cop a feel of my right one, making that face that guys do so well that says, "Damn baby!" I think I even flashed one of the roadies because Keith told me the guy hadn't seen a nice pair of tits in years. We all then got our pictures taken with the guys, and I had my pose all planned out.
According to my girls, as I was walking away from the group after having my picture taken, Mr. Todd eyed me up and down like he wanted to devour. I didn't believe them. We ran up to our hotel room to drop off our stuff before the show started, and I collasped on the bed in a giddy heap, on Cloud 9. "He seriously looked at me like that?!" "Yes! I swear!" I was in heaven, and we haven't even seen them perform yet.
We made our way back down to the House of Blues for the show. And it was fan-fucking-tastic. It was a relatively intimate show, being that venue is not that big. I switched into "concert mode" almost immediately, and it was kind of hard for my girls to communicate with me because I was so into the show, sucking every ounce in possible and taking photos as well.
That was one of the best nights of my life. The concert was amazing. So hard to put into words. I also went to see Buckcherry open for KISS in October. I'm not a big fan of KISS, but I wasn't going to pass up a chance to see Buckcherry again. It was another amazing show as well; I managed to catch a guitar pick thrown off the stage by Keith, and my girl Kathy tossed a bra up on stage, which was fucking hilarious. I can't deny I was a little disappointed that their set was so short, but I guess when you open for a huge band like KISS, you take what you get and are happy to even just be there.
I look forward to continuing my love affair with Buckcherry's music for as long as they keep cranking out albums. If I wasn't a Rock and Roll Princess before I discovered them, I sure as hell am now.
I thought it was so cool that I picked the CD up, read the song list on the back and bought it, having never heard of these guys before. As soon as I put it on at home I was hooked. No-frills cock rock. LOVED IT. And that was the beginning of my obsession with this particular band. Especially Joshua Todd. Yeah, yeah, it's all the about the music. And believe me, it is. But I'm a horny groupie too so I can't help it! Josh Todd is MY King DirtyBoy Rockstar. I don't care what anyone says. It's in his look, his stage presence, that distintive voice of his. And two words: "The Cut."
Through the years Buckcherry has remained one of my Top Five favorite bands. I had thought they fell off the grid for a while after Time Bomb was released, but then my brother, of all people, played Crazy Bitch for me before it hit the radio stations. I of course ran out to pick up the new album, 15, as soon as I could.
As well as a tank top with "Crazy Bitch" scrawled across the chest. I got my aunt one for her birthday too, because that's how we roll. That summer we wore those tops everywhere in Dewey Beach; she became known as "CB-1" and I was "CB-2."It wasn't until the WMMR-B-Q in May 2007 that I finally got the chance to see them live. The 'R-B-Q is an all day musicfest put on by the local rock station I listen to. I was sitting at the kitchen table having my coffee when I heard that Buckcherry was on the bill, as well as Evanesence, Chevelle, and Velvet Revolver, so I quickly rounded up the troops for a day of tailgating and Rock & Roll. That day will have to be another post in itself. It was a fucking BLAST.
Three years later I finally got the chance to see Buckcherry headlining a tour at the House of Blues, and to meet the band. TO MEET THE FUCKING BAND. I went broke scoring VIP tickets and booking a room at the Showboat in Atlantic City for myself and two of my best girls and it was worth it. All I could think of was how bad I wanted to tell these guys the impact they had on my love for rock, that began over ten years ago. And make Josh Todd aware of the fact that I've been fantasizing about him since I was fifteen years old.
Being the diva that I am, I made sure I was going be responsible for a few jaws hitting the floor when I walked into the room where the band was. Actually the entire casino for that matter. A red satin corset trimmed in black lace, a black pleated skirt and knock-em-out-drag-em-down stilettos. Trust me, in the right outfit, you can do anything.
So we wandered around the casino until it was time for the Meet & Greet and I did my best to ignore the stares from creepy old guys. We were stoked up enough for the show that it didn't really matter. I was in groupie-mode and thank God I had my girls to keep me cool. I really didn't want to act a fool when it came time for me to be face to face with five guys that have rocked my world for so long. Especially Mr. Joshua Todd who has unknowingly participated in some of the filthiest scenarios my Dirty Mind (that's a song reference too!) has come up with. 
The PR guy handed out a 10x10 promo shot for the Black Butterfly album to all of us, and I had brought along a photo I've had of Josh Todd for years, when the only tattoo visible was CHAOS across his abs. This was back when Calvin Klein was running his "Dirty Jeans" ads. It hangs on my wall directly across from my bed to this day, but now it's adorned with his autograph.
Once we took our place in line, the next half hour or so was a blur. As soon as we we entered the same room where Stevie, Jimmy, Keith, Josh, and Xavier were sitting, I went weak in the knees. "Don't act a fool Don't act a fool" I kept saying over and over in my head. Then before I knew it I was standing face to face with the band I've been obsessed with for years. And I told them that. I handed the Calvin Klein ad to Josh for him to sign, and asked if he remembered it. Then I lifted up my skirt to give them an eyeful of the tattoo on my right thigh. I of course had to ask the guys to sign my tits as well, what groupie would forget to do that? They were happy to do so of course, and Josh even reached in to cop a feel of my right one, making that face that guys do so well that says, "Damn baby!" I think I even flashed one of the roadies because Keith told me the guy hadn't seen a nice pair of tits in years. We all then got our pictures taken with the guys, and I had my pose all planned out.
According to my girls, as I was walking away from the group after having my picture taken, Mr. Todd eyed me up and down like he wanted to devour. I didn't believe them. We ran up to our hotel room to drop off our stuff before the show started, and I collasped on the bed in a giddy heap, on Cloud 9. "He seriously looked at me like that?!" "Yes! I swear!" I was in heaven, and we haven't even seen them perform yet.
We made our way back down to the House of Blues for the show. And it was fan-fucking-tastic. It was a relatively intimate show, being that venue is not that big. I switched into "concert mode" almost immediately, and it was kind of hard for my girls to communicate with me because I was so into the show, sucking every ounce in possible and taking photos as well.
That was one of the best nights of my life. The concert was amazing. So hard to put into words. I also went to see Buckcherry open for KISS in October. I'm not a big fan of KISS, but I wasn't going to pass up a chance to see Buckcherry again. It was another amazing show as well; I managed to catch a guitar pick thrown off the stage by Keith, and my girl Kathy tossed a bra up on stage, which was fucking hilarious. I can't deny I was a little disappointed that their set was so short, but I guess when you open for a huge band like KISS, you take what you get and are happy to even just be there.
I look forward to continuing my love affair with Buckcherry's music for as long as they keep cranking out albums. If I wasn't a Rock and Roll Princess before I discovered them, I sure as hell am now.
The Groupie Label
I'm sure I tend to come off as just another groupie. At least I'm a groupie who KNOWS the music. Who understands the muscianship between 3, 4, or 5 people playing together on a stage. One who has the albums from 10 or 20 years ago.
I picked up on Incubus when I was 16, before they hit it big. I'm not dissing or intentionally offending people who start following musicians when they hear a hit on the radio for the first time. I've done that too. As soon as I heard "Pardon Me" by Incubus I went out and got the album, along with previously released ones. I learned the music. I listened to it over and over again. I familiarized myself with Incubus's style, and their evolution as a band, from Fungus Amongus up to Morning View. Yes, I thought Brandon Boyd was incredibly hot. But what made him even more attractive was his songwriting. I met him at the Electric Factory after a show one night, and we held a full blown conversation amisdt the crowd of people that had gathered. I told him how much I loved the music. How it captivated me, and that I thought his style was unique. He listened intently, nodding and expressing his genuine appreciation of my fanship. There was no "Yeah, thanks, do you have a pen?" Other girls were grabbing at him as were talking and he completely ignored it. I wasn't gushing over his looks, I was tapping into a love we both shared, a love of music. I wasn't giving empty compliments either, and he picked up on that, which is why I think he gave me a few minutes of his time. The same goes for the rest of the band. Incredibly nice guys who were probably still in awe of their newfound fame. DJ Kilmore was an absolute sweetheat, joking with me and flashing a beautiful smile. They were happy to pose for pictures and sign autographs. I have a framed poster hanging on the wall that each member had signed, minus the drummer because he didn't come out.
I was at Incubus concert at Hershey Stadium in Pennsylvania a few years ago with two of my best girls, Jenny and Dara. The three of us were avid Incubus fans. We sang along to all the songs. And in between songs could not help but get a little excited over Brandon Boyd, especially when he took his shirt off. It was fucking sexy! There were three bitches behind us talking shit the whole time. I guess they thought the only reason we were there is because we were teenyboppers? Jenny and Dara managed to talk me out of turning around and slugging the ringleader of their little group.
I usually don't mind being called a groupie. Or a groupie slut. It's not hard for me to leave my mark if I feel so inclined when I'm at a concert, except it's quite difficult when the band is relatively mainstream or has a huge following like 311. Yes, I am a 311 groupie. But I do not want to sleep with the guys in the band. I would die for a chance to interact with them as humans, not false gods. The same goes for Billy Corgan.
I've got typical groupie stories. I fucking flew to Chicago for one night just to see The Last Vegas. And went broke to get the chance to meet Buckcherry. And stood outside of the Electric Factory to catch glimpses and autographs of various other bands. And I bought another copy of a Liz Phair CD so that I could meet her. I've lost count of how many times I've had my tits signed by musicians. It's all in so much good fun. Sometimes it borderlines obsession, (okay, sometimes it IS obsession) but I love my music, and I love when a musician can reach into my soul, or my pants haha, and grab it by the throat.
IT'S ALL FOR THE LOVE OF ROCK AND ROLL.
I picked up on Incubus when I was 16, before they hit it big. I'm not dissing or intentionally offending people who start following musicians when they hear a hit on the radio for the first time. I've done that too. As soon as I heard "Pardon Me" by Incubus I went out and got the album, along with previously released ones. I learned the music. I listened to it over and over again. I familiarized myself with Incubus's style, and their evolution as a band, from Fungus Amongus up to Morning View. Yes, I thought Brandon Boyd was incredibly hot. But what made him even more attractive was his songwriting. I met him at the Electric Factory after a show one night, and we held a full blown conversation amisdt the crowd of people that had gathered. I told him how much I loved the music. How it captivated me, and that I thought his style was unique. He listened intently, nodding and expressing his genuine appreciation of my fanship. There was no "Yeah, thanks, do you have a pen?" Other girls were grabbing at him as were talking and he completely ignored it. I wasn't gushing over his looks, I was tapping into a love we both shared, a love of music. I wasn't giving empty compliments either, and he picked up on that, which is why I think he gave me a few minutes of his time. The same goes for the rest of the band. Incredibly nice guys who were probably still in awe of their newfound fame. DJ Kilmore was an absolute sweetheat, joking with me and flashing a beautiful smile. They were happy to pose for pictures and sign autographs. I have a framed poster hanging on the wall that each member had signed, minus the drummer because he didn't come out.
 |
| Me with Brandon Boyd, circa 2001 |
I was at Incubus concert at Hershey Stadium in Pennsylvania a few years ago with two of my best girls, Jenny and Dara. The three of us were avid Incubus fans. We sang along to all the songs. And in between songs could not help but get a little excited over Brandon Boyd, especially when he took his shirt off. It was fucking sexy! There were three bitches behind us talking shit the whole time. I guess they thought the only reason we were there is because we were teenyboppers? Jenny and Dara managed to talk me out of turning around and slugging the ringleader of their little group.
I usually don't mind being called a groupie. Or a groupie slut. It's not hard for me to leave my mark if I feel so inclined when I'm at a concert, except it's quite difficult when the band is relatively mainstream or has a huge following like 311. Yes, I am a 311 groupie. But I do not want to sleep with the guys in the band. I would die for a chance to interact with them as humans, not false gods. The same goes for Billy Corgan.
I've got typical groupie stories. I fucking flew to Chicago for one night just to see The Last Vegas. And went broke to get the chance to meet Buckcherry. And stood outside of the Electric Factory to catch glimpses and autographs of various other bands. And I bought another copy of a Liz Phair CD so that I could meet her. I've lost count of how many times I've had my tits signed by musicians. It's all in so much good fun. Sometimes it borderlines obsession, (okay, sometimes it IS obsession) but I love my music, and I love when a musician can reach into my soul, or my pants haha, and grab it by the throat.
IT'S ALL FOR THE LOVE OF ROCK AND ROLL.
High Class Trash
It was during a Motley Crue concert, at the Borgata in Atlantic City, that I discovered The Last Vegas. Thanks to Guitar Center and Nikki Sixx, this band won a contest granting them an opening slot on the 2009 Saints of Los Angeles Tour. I had never heard of them before, but when they took they stage, and Chad Cherry started swinging his sexy ass around on that stage, I was hooked. 
I kept saying to my friend, "Who the fuck are these guys? Why have I never heard them?" Their delightfully trashy and glamourous brand of filthy rock and roll sucked me in immediately. Catchy guitar riffs thanks to Johnny Wator and Adam D'Arling and the distinctive voice of Chad Cherry were mostly what caught my attention. And the fact that Chad moved around on stage so well that eventually I turned to my friend and added, "After the show is over, I swear I am going to GET him." That was the beginning of my love affair with THE LAST VEGAS.
Sure enough, after I walked out of the concert hall of the Borgata when the show was over, there were the members of the band hanging out on the casino floor. I went straight up to Chad, grabbed his crotch, and asked him if I could suck his dick. I got some inaudible response. My friend and I ran upstairs to our room to get changed, and when we went back down to the floor, the band was still there. I was bullshitting with Adam and Nate, the drummer, and still trying to get Chad up to my hotel room, when a member of the band's entourage literally dove in for the kill. It was explained to me that Chad was so drunk that he didn't even know his own name. He introduced himself to me, and I immediately thought, "To hell with Chad!" I did try to get the both of them up to my room at one point.
And....we'll just leave it at that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
